A Belated Happy Mother's Day

I was driving all day on Mother’s Day from Albany, New York to Ohio and thought a lot about what it means to be a mother, and am just now having time to write my reflections. I know I’m a few days late, but thought I would share nonetheless.

Some mothers are larger than life and some are quiet and nurturing. Most mothers love us unconditionally throughout our lives and see us through thick and thin.

My mother was one of those mothers. If I could tell you all the shenanigans I got myself into when I was younger, we’d be here a while, but my mother never wavered in her love and acceptance of me. No matter what. She stood by me and seemed to understand that my life was messy. She understood without having to explain it. She just loved me without judgement. It was something I just knew and cherished more as I got older and had my own children. I miss her every day.

Some people become mothers to kids they did not birth into the world. I have a friend who is that kind of mother and to me she is one of her son’s mothers, so I wished her Happy Mother’s Day. Maybe she’s more like a second mother to him, but one he cherishes because she voluntarily stepped into his life and became a support system to him and helped raise him when she married his father. What an amazing gift to have two mothers!

Some people aren’t able to have their own children, but they often become mother figures in different ways. Some people are incredible mothers to their family pets. I have witnessed pure love and dedication to some lucky dogs and cats in my life.

To me being a mother is to love another more than yourself. You would do anything for them and always want the absolute best for them.

I was blessed to give birth to two children. And when people ask me to this day how many children I have I always say two. I’m always going to honor Riley and celebrate his life and the fact that I had two kids.

On Mother’s Day I decided to drive to Niagara Falls since I was going to drive right past it on the way to Ohio. The last time I was there I was with my two kids. They were young then and wide-eyed on the Maid of the Mist, covered in water. We had a great time together. It’s strange to revisit places where Riley was alive. I know he walked on this land, but he’s no longer here to do so again. In some ways, it feels peaceful to think of him in those places, but in other ways, they seem empty without the possibility of him ever passing that way again.

My kids are my greatest gifts. And I feel grateful every day to have had Riley and to continue to have Shelby in my life.

Shelby has been so supportive of my trip this year and has cheered me on the whole way. From serving as my forwarding address and collecting my mail in Portland to Face-timing me at night when it can get lonely, she is my rock. Her Mother’s Day gift to me (a personalized message from Duncan Lacroix who plays Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser on my favorite show and book series “Outlander”) and the sweetest text message made my day.

Words cannot fully express the depth of love I have for her. I am so proud of the young woman she has become. I well up with emotion when I think of how much joy she brings me.

No matter what motherhood looks like for you, I hope you enjoyed Sunday and that you cherish each day you can celebrate your own mother or call yourself a mother. I believe it’s life’s greatest title!

Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there and to my own mother, Jane Ann Huey Elmore, on the other side.